Chellisms

I Still Got It

Oh, the horror!

Taylor brought home her first piece of geometry homework. I tried to run away screaming in fear but she wouldn't let me. Suffice to say math isn't my cup of tea. I do reading, writing and spelling. Tim handles science and math. In a pinch I can even cover science. Hey, I passed Bio AP with flying colors. Or at least I think I did.

Back to the geometry. Ugh. Where is Tim when you need him?? Oh, that's right... work. It was pretty basic stuff. Figuring out the perimeter of trapezoids and some antiparellelograms. Okay, I totally had to look up and term for antiparellelograms. But dudes, I was able to help her. I mean, I know this is pretty basic stuff but when I was a senior in high school I walked in to my math class on the first day and the math teacher, one I had had previously, asked me why I was there and told me flat out I would be better off in under water basket weaving. Then he wrote me a pass to see my guidance counselor. 

I'd like to think that today I made Mr. Gough proud. If she brings home something new tomorrow he might have to hang his head in shame but that's just the way it is. As for today, I still got it.

Hell, I even surprised myself.

Scroll Down

You know you have spent way too much time on the computer lately when you go out with your youngest child and while browsing in an aisle instead of asking her to scoot over you ask her to scroll down.

And she knows what you mean.

When Children Grow Up

Look what the mail man brought me from Amazon, What's the Big Secret? Talking About Sex with Boys and Girls. Holy crap, someone hold me. Does this thing come with instructions? Can I skip the page on masturbation? How does this skip over puberty, I guess that is another book? 

Seriously though, how can I get away with telling the older and not the younger? They tell each other everything. I shall bite the bullet and tell them both and then instruct them not to tell their friends. 

I also grabbed the American Girl The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls and the American Girl The Feelings Book: The Care & Keeping of Your Emotions. The emotions book is for Bailey, have you met the child?? And of course, last but not least A Smart Girl's Guide to Friendship Troubles which is also an American Girl book. Not that we have friend issues, but you never can tell.

My coffee cup needs a margarita refill. *sigh*

Snow Day, kinda...

Now, I am not exactly an expert on the whole snow day thing but I am fairly certain that when your school district calls for a snow day or a late start due to snow that there should be some white stuff outside.

We got up this morning when the alarm went off at 7 AM. The girls ate breakfast and got dressed. Just like normal.

About 7:30 a neighbor called, one of the other neighbors and fellow parents had heard on the radio that our district called a late start day. Instead of starting school at 8:35 AM the girls started at 10:35 AM. Oh, and since it is parent teacher conference week they were back out at 12:13 PM. So basically they went to school and had recess, then 15 minutes of learning and then it was lunch time and then back home.

Awesome day.

I never did find the white stuff...

Permanenly Lost

I am the reason they invented GPS units. I could be the poster child for gosh sakes! Now, don't think that I am completely inept. I can read a map. I can follow a map. Better yet, I have an 8525 with navigation capabilities. My phone and I, we can make it anywhere together. As long as I remember that I have it.

But... every once in awhile out of nowhere someone really screws me up and asks me for directions. Shit, people, once my eyes glaze over please cut your losses and move on. Quickly. Otherwise it will be painful. For you. And I will feel guilty later. Kind of.

While I was waiting for the school bus, a lady stopped me and asked for directions to the Seattle Ikea. Well, that right there is confusing. The Seattle Ikea isn't in Seattle, it's in Tukwila. A city that has a mall. And an Ikea. And not much else. It isn't a bad area it is just stuck in between a few bigger cities and it seems to disappear.

Moving right along. So I proceeded to stutter my way through giving her directions. Kind of. My directions consisted of turn left at the new starbucks, but not into the parking lot where it is and go right at the roundabout (because seriously, I have seen people go left!). Man, I sure hope she made it. I sure hope that she doesn't live in the neighborhood. Yikes!

Dear Nice Lady in the New Ford Edge,

I hope that you made it to Ikea safely. And in a timely manner. I also hope that you were able to find someone more competent than I. Did you have a cinnamon roll? I hear they are awesome.

Always Lost,

Chelle

P.S., Ikea's half yearly sale starts tomorrow, I hope you saved your receipt.

I totally should have whipped out my phone... dammit.