Just the thought of visiting CA makes me nervous. Cold sweat nervous. I've been back twice since we moved away.
2009 and 2010
I took the girls by myself in 2009 and stayed with my Dad and Geo. We did Disneyland and had a good time. It was also the last time I, and the girls, saw my grandparents alive. I didn't tell anyone I was there. It was a very low-key trip.
2010 was awful. I went with Mom and Pete to bury my grandparents. It was a fiasco from start to finish. Part of me wishes I had stayed home and let everyone else deal with it. It was nice interesting to see people I hadn't seen in ages. Our family dynamics suck. Everyone wants something from everyone else. Death brings out the worst in people. Entitlement. Everyone thinks they are entitled to something. It shocked me a bit but maybe not as much as it should have.
Yikes...
So, we are going to CA. For a week. And I have a few hesitations. I have to say I didn't want to go. I drug my feet in buying plane tickets for weeks.
Will we have a good time? Sure, we have 2 days planned at Disney. We get to see people we love, people I miss so much I wish I could bring them home in my pockets.
I'm stressing over CA already and we don't leave for 60 days. Crap. And I have to fly. Double crap. I really hate flying.
